HOW TO BECOME A COUNSELLOR
There are all sorts of different counsellors. The term counsellor can mean different things, to different people; according to the context and place.
Before deciding how to become a counsellor, it is important to understand what you really want to do.
Counsellors are not Advisers, they are Supporters
The role of a counsellor is not so much to advise people on what to do. Their primary purpose is to provide empathy and encouragement in a confidential environment. They provide opportunities for a client to explore their concerns and guide them toward discovering actions which should be taken.
There are differences between formal counselling and the use of counselling skills. A professional counsellor fulfills a different role to someone using counselling skills or techniques.
To summarise:
- Formal counselling tends to occur for a shorter or longer term.
- Formal counsellors will tend to base their counselling on a particular theory or theories.
- They will receive supervision at regular intervals during their counselling.
- They should abide by ethical guidelines and standards.
- They should have a formal contract with their clients.
Formal counselling is undertaken by a counsellor within a professional setting, but many different professionals use counselling skills e.g. psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists. This chapter will consider:
- What are counselling skills?
- Who uses them?
What are counselling skills?
There are a wide range of counselling skills and techniques that counsellors use. These can also be used by other professionals within their daily role. Counselling skills fall into three main areas: attending skills, listening skills, and influencing skills. We will now consider important counselling skills.
Active Listening
Many people will experience distressing or painful situations that they find hard to talk about. Active listening skills can encourage people to talk. Active listening helps people to talk through their problems by helping them to find a way to put into words what is troubling them. It may sound odd to consider “active” listening. I am listening, what needs to be active about it? Think about how you listen. How often have you been having a conversation with someone where you have been listening to them talk but whilst you are listening, you are thinking about what you want to say next, planning what to eat for lunch, interrupting them and so on. This isn’t really listening or paying attention. You are not REALLY listening to what they have to say, but thinking about what you are thinking about. Active listening means that you are really paying attention. So what is active listening?
With active listening, you may do some talking, but mainly you are acting as a sounding board for the person to discuss their difficult issue. Active listening should just encourage the person to talk, not influence what they have to say.
Think about this, someone is telling you something distressing and you say:
“I know, I had the same experience when.......”
“I know how you feel.”
“Try not to worry about, it will get better soon.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad, last week, this happened to me........”
All of these statements may be well-intentioned, but they could lead to the person stopping what they are saying, changing the subject or ending the conversation because they feel you don’t understand. With active listening this can be avoided. By listening actively you demonstrate to the person or client that you are interested in what they have to say. It is one of the chief skills in building rapport and trust in a client-counsellor relationship. Active listening is part of the repertoire of listening and attending skills a trained counsellor uses to help client’s to discuss their issues. The following skills are all part of the listening techniques.
Clarifying/Encouraging
Sometimes we want to avoid difficult things. We can avoid saying them. A person you are speaking to might do this. They may avoid saying something, but their body language tells you it is a difficult thing. So you can use statements such as:
“This sounds like it is a difficult thing for you?”
“Tell me more about ............”
Then encouraging them more with statements, such as “Go on”, “Tell me more”, or “Yes.” This may sound obvious, but it is so easy to forget to make these sorts of comments when we are thinking about our issues and what we have to say next.
One way of clarifying is to repeat keywords used by the client. The key word selected will influence the direction of the interview.
Another method is to restate certain parts of what the client has said through the use of short statements. These restatements can again influence the direction of the interview like minimal encouragers.
Minimal Encouragers
Another way to show that you are listening is by using minimal encouragers. Minimal encouragers help to put the speaker at ease, and encourage them to continue talking with minimal interruption or influence. You probably use minimal encouragers subconsciously in your conversations already. Some examples include “mmm hmmmm”, “uh-huh”, “I see”, “tell me more”, or nodding your head. Even a silence accompanied by appropriate body language can serve as a minimal encourager.
Counselling skills can sound quite simple. I am sure many of you reading this will think, I do that all the time. The next few times you have a conversation with someone, try to use these different skills and techniques. Consider if you DO actually use them.
Are you qualified?
Effective and successful counsellors are not necessarily those who have completed a formal qualification recognised by some professional body. There is a lot more than that to becoming a counsellor.
Effective counsellors need to acquire the knowledge and experience to understand their client; but also develop the temperament and attitude needed to be empathetic with their clients.
Beyond that, there is a certain level of managerial skill required, to effectively organise and manage the business of running counselling sessions.
Good counsellors have a holistic and professional approach to their job.
The best counsellors also continue to grow their skills by ongoing professional development. They are active within professional associations, they keep up to date with research, they learn from experience, and they continue studying -often both formally and informally.
