THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF-ESTEEM
Self-image and self-esteem are both components of our self-concept. Our self-image refers to such information as our hair colour, eye colour, height, and so on. Our self-esteem is a more evaluative component and refers to internalised social judgements that relate to our sense of worth. So our self image might be “I have brown hair”. Our self-esteem could be shown in a statement such as “I have wonderful brown hair” or “I hate my hair”.
Our upbringing can have a huge impact on our level of self-esteem in adult life. High levels of self-esteem are usually found to correlate with more active, expressive and successful individuals, whereas low levels of self-esteem correlate with a lack of ambition and lower levels of physical fitness.
The psychologist Carl Rogers suggested that in order to maintain positive self-esteem our conditions of worth need to be realistic. He also stated that we have two fundamental needs; positive regard from others such as love and respect, and the need for self-actualisation (to realise our full potential). Most people tend to satisfy these needs, however some people do not realise their full potential because they fear disapproval from others and hence a loss of positive regard. These sorts of people may develop unrealistic expectations for themselves and hence unreasonable conditions of worth.
They expect that they can do everything to a standard of excellence and over react to even the slightest hint of failure.
This results in very low levels of self-esteem as they have set their sights so high that failure is inevitable.
Rogers argued that this could only be set right by unconditional positive regard from someone either in childhood or in adulthood. According to this theory the life coach can serve to provide this positive self-regard and consequently raise the individual’s self-esteem.
Our levels of self-esteem can also diminish if we are mixing with social groups with whom we do not identify. What tends to happen here is that individuals isolate themselves from the group. A life coach can help the individual to recognise this. It may be a work group, a group of friends or a group that meets to socialise. Whatever the group, if the individual does not feel a part of the group, then they may have to leave or find another group. Identification with groups depends on what the group has to offer the individual.
The group has to provide a source of positive self-esteem. If someone can not feel proud of the group in which they find themselves, and it is impossible to leave it then they will tend to distance themselves from it. People should only remain part of a group as long as it provides them with a positive self-image.
If we consider cases where it is extremely difficult to leave a group, for example to change gender or skin colour, then a different approach is required. Here people tend to compare their groups with other groups which are of equal or lower status and ignore or denigrate groups which are seen as being of a higher status. In this way people can identify with their own group without feeling inferior. The life coach may also help the individual to alter the perceived status of the group to which the individual belongs. By making membership of the group seem like a positive experience the individual can feel more a part of the group and feel proud to belong to it.
